Lifestyle - I Am The Author Of My Own Story December 07 2018, 0 Comments
My Business Journey & Changes Ahead
Hi Lovelies, I want to say sorry for being MIA for so long, but there has been some tough moments and times around here, with lots of changes going on in the background, so let me fill you in a little...
What was once known as Glitter And Grace is no more, but in its place is something I am more excited about, because its been born from a place of heartache, and deep down soul searching.
Life and its bloody great curveballs:
Life is never perfect, and it has its ups and it has its downs, but it also has its bloody great horrific times, which for the last several years me and my family have been going through quite a tramatic and upheavel of a time, we were charged with taking on and looking after our granddaughter, which we were happy to do, and thought it would only be tempory, but oh no life had other plans, so I had to put my whole business on hold, and we had to put our plans as us just as a couple, instead of being mum and dad on hold, and the dream holiday for us on hold.
What followed was so stressful that just holding it together for everyone became my priorty, and during last summer and into the Autumn my head and my heart was severely challenged, I was being torn into several pieces, from trying to do what was the right thing while my heart was so broken, and knowing I was losing something so precious to me, but knowing it was the right thing to do so this particular precious little star would have the best life, my marraige was in trouble, my business was suffering, as a person I felt lost, extremely sad, jaded, uncreative, unmotivated and so so alone.
I knew I needed to take a step back from everything, and spend some time just regrouping my thoughts, and slowly gathering up the pieces of my heart, so I spent time alone with each of my children as they have suffered too, spent time with my other precious star who has suffered the most through this tough time, but shes still smiling and a little trooper and our miracle which I thank god for every day, and I sat with my husband talking and talking to try and repair what had been the strongest of twinning souls & strong marriage, and trying to figure out why I hadnt been enough for everyone.
I did a lot of soul searching on this particular question and I journaled, and I dream planned on what I wanted from my life and how I wanted to give back and show up in my future self and the world.
But before I could any of my plans into action life had other plans, once again I was thrown into heartache, as in April of this year, heaven gained one of the most inspiring and beautiful people left this world, this lady taught me to be graceful, to be kind, to laugh again, she was there for me in the toughest of times, she was my sidekick as a teenager, she was the one who always told me you are beautiful, worth it, please dont dim your light for others, she was and will always be the head of our family, she was our rock and glue that stuck us together through thick and thin, she was selfless, she was a giver of her heart, she was pure, she was my love, she was my beautiful nan.
This event torn my heart in two, as I never got to see her one last time, apart from in the chapel where I gave her her favourite thing, a beautiful single yellow rose, as she always said yellow roses were gods way of saying my grandad was with her, and he was, as his ashes were with her too, seeing her there knowing I would never have nanna hugs, or hear her wise words again just broke me, and for me, my mind and my physical self this was life's last straw, I suffered a total physical and emotional breakdown, I couldnt eat, sleep, work or feel anything, and some days I dont mind saying I still struggle with her loss, and my mind monkey and just total exhaustion.
So What happens when you've no where else to go?
Well, I am happy to say, I am finally turning it around, because I did hear her one last time, telling me as loud and clear shine your light bright, dont you dare dim it, the world needs you, go for your dreams, spread your wings and fly high, and since then there has been several instances where ive just felt her nudging me to push my boundries and do all the things ive wanted to do in the past 4 years, but put off because of what we were going through.
Now some people think im mad because I know I heard her and felt her physically push me even thought the room was empty, but I like to think she's still guiding me and ill take that.
I certainly dont have it all figured out yet, but business wise I have always known that ive wanted to go back to my heart's desire, my soul calling of wanting to inspire and empower other women, who have felt lost after trauma, or who have felt and still feel invisible after looking after children, being a caregiver or just dont feel good enough or confident.
I've wanted to create a space for living with intention, community, connection, coaching and handcrafted and personally picked, uplifting and empowering gifts, so I decided to totally rebrand, with new colours, logo and a brand new name, and focus on working more with semi precious gemstones and create jewellery that doesnt just have healing powers, but that will inspire you and empower you daily, and gifts such as curated gift boxes that will nurtue you mind, body and soul.
As for coaching and connection, I have started my journey, after several years of wanting to take that step, but for several reasons both personal and finanancial the timing just wasnt right.
But Sometimes You Just Get That Push You Need
And after my mini meltdown as I'm calling it because although I was very low, sad, emotionally and physically drained, I wasn't deep down soul depressed, where I couldnt function or had stop caring altogether, and I definately didnt want or need tablets to get me through.
But boy did I need some sort of sign, When it comes to caring and giving to others, I have always been decisive and a total giver of my time, my heart and my soul, but yet when it came to me, and my own sense of self, wellbeing, soul goals and dreams, well thats always been another matter, but I knew what I wanted to create was my souls calling, but I still wanted and needed a sign, that the path I wanted to take was the right one, and I got that sign big time, and even though I wasnt in a financial position to do any of it, after all I was about to spend over £8,000 which I didnt have, but im trusting the universe on this one.
And with my nanna's words in my ears I pushed that buy now button, and signed up to Gabby Bernstiens Spirit Junkie Course, and I signed up to several smaller courses, such as Reiki, CBT, Counselling, Art Therapy, soul story telling, life coaching, all of these are master teaching level diplomas.
And ive also signed up to do the one course ive longed to do for 3 years, The Beautiful You Life Coaching Course and Certification.
I am so damn excited to finally be starting this new journey, and chapter in my life, so I can hopefully help others to live their best lives, and be the best versions of themselves.
Don't get me wrong, I think life and what I have been through has qualified me, and then some!! to know a little of what i'm doing, and talking about, after all ive been there, got that T shirt, and walked in those shoes, but I know some people dont like it unless you have the certificate to prove it, and for me I felt it was also important, ( I left school with no actual qualifications, thanks to my parents moving at a crucial point in my schooling year ) I am hoping to be fully qualified in all by the end of 2019.
I have also finally set up the charity foundation, that has been in my heart and soul since I was a teenager, and something I wish had been around when I was going through my own trauma.
You can find out more here >>>>https://www.thehopeandgracefoundation.com
And the space ive always wanted to create online, and hopefully offline, for one of my dreams is to organise a retreat for mind, body and soul, but this space ive created is for the woman who feels invisible, unconfident, unsupported, and alone, maybe you work from home, like me and it can be so damn lonely,an shy introvert with others, but yet confident with those you know ( this is me ) or you have been a carer your whole life, had to deal with lifes bloody great curveballs one after the other, and you want a community of like minded souls to converse with, buddy up with, meet for coffee if close enough, well then this group is for you, you will be supported, encouraged and inspire to just be your own beautiful self, come over and join us at ....The lily Grace Collective which you can find here>>> https://www.facebook.com/groups/youarewildgrace/
So there you have it, in a nutshell (well not quite as I can talk the hind legs off a donkey, and waffle on for England when nervous ) the reason i've been MIA, and whats next for this beautiful jorney of mine, I am so so excited, and I hope you will stay and join me and Lily Grace (the new business name) on this soulful journey of mine, when I launch Lily Grace into the world, the date has yet to be set for this but Ill keep you posted.
Hugs & Wishes
Lifestyle - Say No More, And Help Raise Awareness Of Sexual Abuse December 02 2018, 0 Comments
Firstly thank you for being here xx, it means more than you know x
Today I want to share a part of my story with you, a story that is a big part of me, and the reason why I have always wanted to set up a charity to give back hope, grace, and dignity to others who have been here.
This is the first time I have shared my story publicly, and ive rewritten it several times already, as it's not easy for me to talk about, and wondering am I sharing too much, or am I not sharing enough, but it's a story I feel needs to be shared, as I am no longer ashamed of my past, it's made me the woman I am today.
So please bear with me, what might seem rambling, I promise there is a meaning to this, and a worthwhile cause, a cause that is so dear to my heart and soul, and one I hope you will join me on preventing, and raising awareness of.
For as long as I can remember, I have felt worthless, not beautiful enough, not good enough, just not enough in general, just so never enough, and god did it hurt, still does somedays.
I hated me and my inner self for such a long long time, and sometimes it is still so raw, and I still find it hard to love myself, and I am the first one to always, put me and my abilities down and be a negative nelly.
But I am a learning curve in process, and im learning to let my inner light shine brighter daily.
I come from a broken family, and I witnessed things children should not have to see, I watched my mum being beat, severely several times a week, I watched her being broken down to a shell of herself and all of this before I was 5, it still hurts me to think of what she went through, and it was not just my mum, who hurt, I got hurt too, with actions and words, which for a 5 year old with nothing but love in her heart was devastating, and I swore id never let a person treat me like that, boy how wrong was I.
My story with this person, is a long and complicated one, I still love this person with all my heart and soul, but for my own sanity, peace of mind and to stop my heart constantly shattering, I had to let go of my need for this person to love me, because I know this person never will.
To get away from the violence, shouting and general not niceness if that is a word at home, I started to spend time with a family friend who shall remain nameless !!
For several years from aged 5 to 8 this man abused me in the most horrific of ways and some of which I shall never tell, because of this abuse I was severely beaten to within an inch of my life, tied up to a tree and beaten with an iron bar all because the local kids had heard what had happened to me, this knowledge lives inside my head every single day, could I have stopped it, was I naughty, did I deserve to be treated this way?
I was classed as a liar and scum, so I began to think this way, We had to move homes and I had to go to a completely new school, because I was getting constant death threats, via letter, eggs thrown at the house, they even set fire to our hallway while we were in bed.
So a new school and home was chosen for me, in an area where I knew no one, was to be my new reality, all Because of my abuse, I hated the idea but I didn't have a choice !!
After this, my relationship with my mum and stepdad, and other people in my life, became strained, I distanced myself from everyone, I started to take myself to another place, I called it my bubble, I would sit in my room and drawn or make things, or I would go to my dance group, music and dancing has always soothed my soul.
A place where the bullies, family and friends wouldn't hurt me, or see the real me or the way I was feeling, but the bullying, self loathing and not eating for weeks at a time would continue until I finally left school at 15 to move to somerset for what I hoped would be a fresh start, and it was for a while.
I was happy, well as happy as I allowed myself to be, but I then got into a relationship that turned extremely violent, and manipulative, and even continued once my daughter was born when I was just 18, I finally plucked up the courage to leave aged 21 because I knew if I didn't he would eventually kill me.
But the story of sexual, physical and domestic abuse for me does not stop there, for it haunts me even now, for not only have I been a victim as both a child ( sexual ) and an adult ( sexual and domestic ) and now a survivor !!
But this curse, for that's what it, is a lifetimes curse, has even touched both my eldest son who's story is his own, but also another precious member of my family, which I am currently not allowed to disclose, due to ongoing stuff, one day they may choose to tell their own stories.
And this is why, after almost a lifetime of my soul knocking, I have set up the charity I have always wanted to, I want to be able to create packages that are full of beautiful things that give back hope, grace, and dignity to survivors of sexual and domestic abuse, we are not a registered charity as yet, but this is next on my list, to get us registered.
You can find out more here >>> www.thehopeandgracefoundation
Did you know ?
One in five children are sexually abused, before they are aged 18 !! that is one in five that is just to many!!
Its time to start changing this and to start defending the innocence of children ( and adults ) everywhere and you can help today ! by choosing to support us here at the hope and grace foundation in whatever way you can..
I have never asked you, my family or friends to support me or my charity, or asked for sales, but today I am.
I am asking for your support, and there are many ways you can do that, you can buy a gift from Lily Grace here >>> www.designedbylilygrace.com
Every product on the Lily Grace website donates back a percentage of sales to the hope and grace foundation, and Young minds, a charity set up to help youngsters with mental health.
Or you can you can do your shopping online, on the easy fundraising page which has 100's of shops to choose from, and choose the hope and grace foundation for your donations to go to.
It doesn't cost you anything to sign up, or to register with the easy fundraising page, but every penny raised will make a huge difference to the hope and grace foundation.
You can find out more about how to sign up, and register here on the easy fundraising website >>> www.easyfundraising.org.uk
Once your signed up and registered all you need to do, is choose The Hope And Grace Foundation as your chosen charity, and then go shopping, I now do all my shopping from Amazon, Boots, W H Smith and more via this page, so my own shopping helps to raise donations too, any donations made will go straight to their website, ready for us to recieve it over at the hope and grace foundation.
I want to thank you so much if you've got this far, and for taking the time to read a little of my personal story, I can tell you it was so hard to write, and several times had to stop due to the pure emotion and the lump in my throat, just saying these things out loud even now brings out that lost little girl in me.
But I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and why I felt, it was time to share this important post, and why stopping sexual abuse and the hope and grace foundation, is so important to me, not just for now, but for ever.
Because every child deserves innocence and love and every adult deserves love and respect.
Hugs & Wishes
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